one for the books

tonight was a memorable one. firstly, I would be lying if I told you that every day I go through this is painless and easy. I'm not happy all the time, and I'm certainly not always smiling. sometimes the reality of cancer punches you hard in the stomach. you are fine one minute and crying the next. to be honest with you, tonight I cried harder than I ever have since my diagnosis. now don't get me wrong, I'm most definitely a crier. I cry in movies, songs, at church, when I'm happy, or sad. tonight was more of a painful cry though. tonight the tears just came. I started to feel defeated. someone told me once that tears are liquid prayers. I do think crying can be one of the healthiest things a person can do. I cried not only in the natural tonight, but I cried out to God. the beautiful thing is I've never felt closer to the Holy Spirit than I have during these late nights, and I definitely know what it feels to be held tightly by my Heavenly Father. I know He sees all these tears, and He not only sees them, but knows what each one is for. so sometimes yes, I do feel a small defeat, or disheartened in a sense. but I can always take those worries to Him, knowing He cares so deeply for them. how amazing to think that He exchanges pain for healing, fear for peace, and sorrow for joy?


weeping may come for a night, but joy comes with the morning.

Last week I came across Laurann Gateley (@lala_islove) on Instagram (a social networking site). Her story touched me. Laurann has been battling Hodgkin's Lymphoma for the last 5 years, has gone through EIGHT rounds of chemo and a bone marrow transplant. The doctors told her last week that as far as the medical world is concerned, she is out of options. They also told her she only has weeks-months to live. 

But God is SO much bigger than those words that have been spoken, and Laurann knows that. She preaches Jesus with a smile on her face and doesn't give up. Her story has influenced more people than she could ever know, and I would encourage you to lift her up in prayer. I'm believing for her miracle more than I've probably ever believed for anything in my whole life. She needs breakthrough so desperately, and I truly believe that God is not finished with her yet. 

You can read her caring bridge site at: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/lalaislove 

Also, Laurann recently did an interview with her local news station. You can read it/ watch the video at: http://www.koco.com/news/30721001/detail.html#.T2iZiOAlCOU.facebook

thoughts regarding fear, sickness, doubt, and the like

Being in this hospital for some time, I've had a lot of time to think about sickness (haha obviously). All throughout my life, one of my biggest fears has been terminal illnesses. The thought of my family or myself having one scared me so much it would send me into panic attacks. Every little headache, sore throat, or bad feeling was accompanied by chilling fear. God really has a sense of humor, bringing me through facing exactly what I once was afraid of. But I have to say, since diagnosis, I've felt differently. That fear that once gripped me so tightly has truly faded away; because walking through this with Jesus has made it so surprisingly easy. (Matt 11:30)
My findings have been this: sickness is a shadow, fear is a shadow, and doubt is the package they come wrapped inside. (Psalm 23:4) There is nothing big enough to rob you of your joy. I promise you that.
If you have felt this way about sickness, please know you are not alone. The biggest lie of the enemy is that you are the only one feeling that way, but in fact, its the unoriginal devil's same old lie. And it is just a lie. Sickness has NO hold on your life. Isn't that wonderful?

For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (2 Tim 1:7)

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. (Josh 1:9)

aaand we're back!

When I noticed that my last post was from spring of 2010, I was a little shocked at how time has flown by.

So I have decided to pick up my blog again.

I've dabbled with tumblr, and written a few actual blog-like posts, but lets be honest... Tumbling is not actually blogging. :)

Here you will find my musings, thoughts, things I find beautiful, and little talks about life.

I have several post ideas swirling around in my head, and I can't wait to share them!

I'm looking into making my blog look pretty too, I don't like what I picked for a template 2 and a half years ago... Ha.. If anyone has any ideas/suggestions for design, pleeeease let me know.

I'm not even so sure I love blogspot as a host anymore, so bear with me as I move back into this ;)

I hope you like what is to come!

In the meantime, here's what I've been up to in my personal life:

1. Finishing the best two years I have ever had doing my internship at my wonderful church. Read some of my favorite intern moments here.

2. Starting my first year of college. I'm a Political Science major and I love every second of it. (However, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. It changes daily. That is not an exaggeration)

3. Having the time of my life playing in a band with my best friends. We recorded our first EP, played lots of great shows, and are currently planning a bit of traveling. (but shhhh... I probably wasn't supposed to tell you that ;))

4. I was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia in January. It has been quite a journey. You can read my full story here.

The rest of my crazy life is currently on pause due to number 4, but that means I will have plenty of time to blog :)

cheers. I'll see you very soon!

Summer List::

I like making lists. I would dare to say I make them a bit too often, but it's nice to set goals and write them all down! Plus, this list was fun to make :)


go running every day:: ok, ok, this particular item has ended up on every to-do list and new years resolution since jr. high. If you know me, you know I despise running. But I know that its so good for you. THIS time I think I can do it. I'll just need the motivation and perseverance :)

acquire an automobile... somehow:: hey, I can dream can't I? :)

learn to play the guitar:: I'm not sure how realistic this is, but my friends have offered to help! by the end of the summer I'd like to be able to play something!

go camping:: I haven't been camping in forever! The fresh pine tree scent, pitching a tent, campfires... sigh. I miss it!

learn to wakeboard:: last summer I decided I loooove it.. and this summer I want to actually be good at it :)

read all 6 Jane Austen novels:: alright, confession... I stole this idea from a movie.. but you have to admit, they are SO much better than twilight! wholesome reads that don't fill your mind with vampires? yes please. I really need to spend more time at the library in general... but I thought a summer with Jane would be nice :) 1 down, 5 to go!

go on a fantastic road trip adventure!:: My best friend and I have wanted to do this for a long time. We're not sure where to, but we'll figure something out :)

pick up photography again:: my 10th and 11th grade years I LOVED photography class. I want to take lovely pictures of my summer :)

spend more time with my family:: this past school year was so busy for me. Interns and High School at the same time? Crazy! Although I adored every minute of it, I do regret not taking as much time to spend with my parents and my little brother. We'll fix that :)

learn to cook:: its true, I am a terrible cook! Probably because I never had the time and/or patience to learn. Now I'm not saying I want to be the next Julia Child... but knowing some of the basics is kind of important :)

out of all the things I want to do, those are the only ones that are coming to mind. well, I'd call that a good start! Here's to a great summer :)

vote?

part of an English project I did my junior year.
I thought it was appropriate for today :)


On Voting..
• Vote in honor of those in our military who courageously fight wars and our law enforcement officers, firefighters and emergency workers who respond to our needs and defend the peace at home. Those who sacrifice their personal well-being in the name of our safety and security deserve our respect. Voting is a way of giving them and their families our vote of confidence in their heroism.
• Vote in honor of those who struggled for civil rights, women's suffrage, immigrant rights and the ideals of justice for all whose diverse voices are essential for our nation's moral health and community vitality. Freedom needs affirmation. Voting is a way to assure that our rights are protected by strengthening the voices of those for whom rights are sacred and need to be defended.
• Vote to be a good example to our children and grandchildren by exercising the right to vote as a symbol of our faith in democracy. By voting we send a signal of the importance of the choices we as adults make to secure a better future for ourselves, for our children, and generations who will follow.
• Voting is our society's great equalizer. No matter our station in life, income, or social status, every citizen over age 18 has the same power of one vote. Pollsters do not determine who wins elections; voters do. Predicting the outcome of elections, especially close ones, is at best an inexact science. Pollsters and political pundits have their roles, but like each of us, they only have one vote.
• Elections should not be about negative ads, it should be about the options we all have to promote positive policy actions. Voting for candidates in whom we believe, and for or against ballot initiatives we know will affect our future, is a perfect counterbalance to the flood of negativity polluting the airwaves and mailboxes.
• It's important to be an informed voter. Pay attention to news reports and editorials about the campaigns. Voting gives all us the chance to make our opinions known in the public policy arena. While how we vote is confidential, the fact that we have voted, or failed to vote, is public record. Elected officials know which individuals and demographic groups are voting, and we who vote are therefore more likely to be influential in policy debates. Non-voters are voiceless and by not participating can become victims of their neglect.
• Regret is preventable. May 26th is one day too late, and "could have, should have" are sorry alternatives to acting. Have a "no excuses" attitude by committing to vote, ask others to join us in voting, and promote a positive approach to making a difference among family, friends and colleagues.
• Be part of making history. Because every indicator points to the prospect that future elections will suffer from an extremely low turnout, every vote is even more important. Being a participant in affecting history gives each of us a sense of pride in democracy and the power to touch the future.
• Democracy is a team sport….and spectators don't count.

Washington DC

I'm headed to DC this week. SO thrilled! I'll post pics and stories soon! :)

favorite 3

this dress from here








bow headbands







the color turquoise

what are you reading?

I love books. I just do. and I've never been the kind of person that only reads one book at a time.
2nd Chronicles. Seriously, if you want to know how to be a worshiper, check it out (I especially love chapter 20 :) )
The Spirit of the Disciplines. by Dallas Willard. A true Christ Follower doesn't just ask "What would Jesus do?" in a specific circumstance, instance, or decision. A Christ Follower approaches every day with "How did Jesus live in His time on Earth?" and "How can I live like that too?" Its a lifestyle. not a bracelet.
Its Not Business Its Personal. by Bob Sorge. I've been wanting to read this for a while, and I'm FINALLY getting to it! I love it! "Jesus is not merely an entrepreneur who has found a promising enterprise on one of His planets. Rather, He is a ravished Bridegroom who has come to win the affections of a lovesick Bride."
Pride and Prejudice. By Jane Austen. Everyone reads it in high school. I'm enjoying it though. I love the journey the persnickety Miss Elizabeth Bennet takes. :)
1984. by George Orwell. another one for school. I think its cleverly written. The story depicts the danger of a Utopian society and totalitarian government. It is a harsh read. No happy endings, or feel good messages. Its been interesting.
what are you reading?

its spring!

goodbye winter.
and hello sunshine, flowers, iced tea, white high heels, bright colors, and sunglasses.
:)

I guess i've always loved flowers :)

“Actually, this seems to be the basic need of the human heart in nearly every great crisis - a good hot cup of coffee.”
Alexander King

it was my favorite

I read this poem so many times when I was little. We had a quaint little orange book filled with poetry. It still sits on the bookcase in the den. I could probably say this one frontwards, sdrawkcab and ǝpısdn uʍop...
In honor of the weather today :)

















Who has seen the wind?
Neither I nor you;
But when the leaves hang trembling
The wind is passing through

Who has seen the wind?
Neither you nor I,
But when the trees bow down their heads
The wind is passing by.
Christina Rossetti

small group love!!!

I am so blessed. I get to hang out with the best group of ladies around.
they're smart, funny, beautiful, and destined for GREAT things.
going through my pictures today, I found a ton of fun small group memories. thought I'd share.
love you girls!!! :)

what to do (and what NOT to do) when you're sick

This past week, due to the flu, I've had a lot of time to myself.
And in this time, I've realized a few things about being ill.
I realize that whenever I'm sick, I don't do the simple things that could shorten my quarantine time. This week, I decided to write it all down. Partially out of pure boredom, and also because blogs never forget! :)

DO:
get lots of rest. Now, the LAST thing I want to do is sit in bed all day, BUT I guarantee. more sleep=faster healing. rest helps. I promise :)

vitamin c, vitamin c, vitamin c!!! alright, confession. I hate orange juice. I really do. but vitamin c helps fight the nasty flu germs, so I've been guzzling it down. By giving the immune system one of the important nutrients it needs, studies show what vitamin C can often shorten the duration of the cold. and If you don't like orange juice, 1. you are a person after my own heart and 2. try pill supplements instead! :)

drink lots of water!!! enough said. your body desperately needs hydration!

eat something! Most times, when I get sick, I'm not hungry. But its important to try to eat something, even if your stomach says no. try toast, soup, even a fruit smoothie. You want to keep your body nourished so you can regain strength!


DON'T:
go to the store. We all know that its impossible to look decent when you're sick. I tried stopping at walgreens this morning. thought it would be quick. drop in, grab some sudafed, drop out. but to my dismay, I ran into people I know.
"Wow lynds, are you ok? You look awful!"
thanks guys. I appreciate it. bottom line: send dad. send mom. send ANYONE. just don't go yourself. you might scare someone...

drink purple gatorade. I know, I know, electrolytes (found in abundance in a bottle of gatorade) are good. BUT, I don't care what they say. Purple gatorade tastes like cough syrup. believe me. I know. one sip brought a flood of childhood memories of my mom forcing purple goo down my throat to stop my cough. ick. try red, or green, or blue!

avoid the shower: just to be a little considerate to the people around you, take a shower. I know sickness leads to laziness, but don't skip the cleanliness :)

{oh how I love the rain...}

I hear leaves drinking rain;
I hear rich leaves on top
Giving the poor beneath
Drop after drop;
‘Tis a sweet noise to hear
These green leaves drinking near.

And when the Sun comes out,
After this Rain shall stop,
A wondrous Light will fill
Each dark, round drop;
I hope the Sun shines bright;
‘Twill be a lovely sight.

William Henry Davies

{Psalm 45}

{My heart is overflowing with a good theme;
I recite my composition concerning the King;
My tongue is the pen of a ready writer.
You are fairer than the sons of men;
Grace is poured upon Your lips;
Therefore God has blessed You forever.
Gird Your sword upon Your thigh, O Mighty One,
With Your glory and Your majesty.
And in Your majesty ride prosperously because of truth, humility, and righteousness;
And Your right hand shall teach You awesome things.
Your arrows are sharp in the heart of the King’s enemies;
The peoples fall under You.
Your throne, O God, is forever and ever;
A scepter of righteousness is the scepter of Your kingdom.
You love righteousness and hate wickedness;
Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You
With the oil of gladness more than Your companions.
All Your garments are scented with myrrh and aloes and cassia,
Out of the ivory palaces, by which they have made You glad.
Kings’ daughters are among Your honorable women;
At Your right hand stands the queen in gold from Ophir.
Listen, O daughter,
Consider and incline your ear;
Forget your own people also, and your father’s house;
So the King will greatly desire your beauty;
Because He is your Lord, worship Him.
And the daughter of Tyre will come with a gift;
The rich among the people will seek your favor.
The royal daughter is all glorious within the palace;
Her clothing is woven with gold.
She shall be brought to the King in robes of many colors;
The virgins, her companions who follow her, shall be brought to You.
With gladness and rejoicing they shall be brought;
They shall enter the King’s palace.
Instead of Your fathers shall be Your sons,
Whom You shall make princes in all the earth.
I will make Your name to be remembered in all generations;
Therefore the people shall praise You forever and ever.}

Psalm 45, also called “The wedding song”, celebrates a spectacular royal wedding. Written by the sons of Korah, it describes in great detail a bride and groom on their wedding day. This Psalm not only speaks of the joy of human marriage, but also prophetically describes Jesus’ time on the earth and the church’s role as His bride. Some Bible students think that the sons of Korah sang Psalm 45 when King Solomon married his queen. Others think it was a prophetic oracle of the coming of the Messiah, given to them in a personal worship time.

This psalm can be seen as God’s love letter to His son and His people. God expresses His exhilarated love for them. The King described in the first half of the psalm is said to be the most excellent of men, blessed forever, and clothed with splendor and majesty. “He will ride forth victoriously in the name of truth, humility, and righteousness.” (vs. 4) This perfectly describes Jesus, who reigns in power and magnificence. The Messiah is perfect, full of joy and grace, and is to be highly honored. He is God’s son, in whom He is greatly pleased.

The second half of the psalm calls attention to the Princess, or the bride of Christ. God wants to share with her the secret of catching Jesus’ attention. "Listen, O daughter, Consider and incline your ear;Forget your own people also, and your father’s house;" The bride's people and family represent her identity-- her hopes, dreams, and future. The bride leaves her life and her home to be with the King. Wholehearted abandonment is exactly what He wants. He wants his bride to fall in love with Him, and prefer him over her identity.

I love the picture that Psalm 45 paints--The majesty of the groom, and the pure devotion of the bride. Comparing it to Jesus and the church shows us how to be all that He has called us to be, by abandoning our identity, our plans, and following after him with all that’s within us. All He wants is for us to prefer the voice of the bridegroom over anything else in our lives, and to be completely in love with Him, our Savior.

{pic of the week}

I love this!
Made me think of this website

{if i were crafty}

i'd make these for my room.
i think they're lovely...











coffee filters!! brilliant!








via ruby gatta and curbly

{life psalm}

I lift you high in praise, my God, O my King, and I'll bless your name into eternity.

I'll bless you every day,
and keep it up from now to eternity.
god is magnificent; he can never be praised enough.
There are no boundaries to his greatness.
One generation shall commend your works to another,
and shall declare your mighty acts.
Your beauty and splendor have everyone talking;
I compose songs on your wonders.
Your marvelous doings are headline news;
I could write a book full of the details of your greatness.
The fame of your goodness spreads across the country;
your righteousness is on everyone's lips.

God is all mercy and grace—
not quick to anger, is rich in love.
God is good to one and all;
everything he does is suffused with grace.
Creation and creatures applaud you, God;
your holy people bless you.
They talk about the glories of your rule,
they exclaim over your splendor,

Letting the world know of your power for good,
the lavish splendor of your kingdom.
Your kingdom is a kingdom eternal;
you never get voted out of office.
God always does what he says,
and is gracious in everything he does.
God gives a hand to those down on their luck,
gives a fresh start to those ready to quit.

All eyes are on you, expectant;
you give them their meals on time.
Generous to a fault,
you lavish your favor on all creatures.
Everything God does is right—
the trademark on all his works is love.
God's there, listening for all who pray,
for all who pray and mean it.

He does what's best for those who fear him—
hears them call out, and saves them.
God sticks by all who love him,
but it's all over for those who don't.
My mouth is filled with God's praise.
Let everything living bless him,
bless his holy name from now to eternity.

Psalm 145

{a girl and her horse}

what did you name him eden jo?
...rice krispie the horse!!!

{Its that time of the year...}

The time I lock myself in the house all week.
I forget the fact that I have friends and a life outside of school.
I start to become literally attached to my computer.
My eyes are tired from reading.
My brain hurts.
I overload on caffeine...

YEP, Its Finals Week!

I have three finals tomorrow, and three on Friday.
After that, I promise I'll be back in the real world!

Did you ever see the movie The Red Balloon?






Its a magical story about a sweet little boy named Pascal, who is befriended by a good-natured, cherry-red helium balloon. It follows him to school, waits for him, and follows him home again.
France, 1956ish?
I must have watched it hundreds of times when I was little.
Just took me back a little bit. :)

I love the rain.
Its been raining all week
(well, when I say all week, I mean about ten minute downpours a few times each day... its Idaho)

Let the rain kiss you.
Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops.
Let the rain sing you a lullaby.
The rain makes still pools on the sidewalk.
The rain makes running pools in the gutter.
the rain plays a little sleep-song on our roof at night -
And I love the rain.
-Langston Hughes

{for the one}

This weekend, Christine Caine, from Hillsong Australia came and shared a powerful message for the church.
But another thing she shared was her heart for the victims of human trafficking.

Roughly 2 to 4 million people are trafficked in and across borders each year.
Children as young as four years old are sold into this terrible crime.
Human trafficking is now a leading source of profits for organized crime, together with drugs and weapons, generating an estimated 9.5 billion dollars per year.

Hearing Christine share this information affected me.
I felt pain for these victims.
It raged a burning anger in my heart that someone would do such a thing to these poor women and children.
It brought tears to my eyes thinking that these people are trapped, alone, and hurt.
It made me want to do something.

The A21 Campaign is committed to abolishing injustice in the 21st Century. Their goal is to raise awareness, take legal action and offer rehabilitation services to rescued victims of human trafficking in order to fight this injustice from a comprehensive approach.

And I support them
I want this brought to a stop. And the A21 campaign is dedicated to take the steps needed to do so.
Check out http://www.thea21campaign.org for more information

how imaginative!
maybe i should try this in my room...
a few hundred bags of cotton and some fishing wire, and we're in business!
happy monday :)

{a little shout out to...}

Candice Cossel
from Serendipity Studios!

I have the pleasure of being one of Candice's senior models this spring and I have to say..
She is amazing!

Candice takes a more urban spin on things,
instead of the same ol boringness you can easily find in other senior pictures.

If you're looking for incredible photography
check out her stuff
here
here
aaand here!
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

{what's new}

I'm a little under the weather this week, happened upon some sort of stomach flu on Sunday...
BUT I'm a lot better today! :)
and I'm excited for this week, it's going to be great!

WHY you may ask?
gcB this wednesday @7pm.
awesome worship
and p. mark francey is continuing the "Doer" series :)
you should come too!!


AND...











this Friday and Saturday
is Capital Christian's annual Women's Conference!
w/ guest speaker Christine Caine
from Hillsong Australia
It's going to be awesome!
if you'd like to know more, check out
www.capitalwomensconference.com
for info about the church and how to register!

aaand thats pretty much all folks!
so i'll leave you with the pic of the week :)

{some memorable quotes from the peanut gallery}

"why do your pants have holes in them? maybe you need to find a better store"
-steven holsinger

"hey lynds, when you grow up, you should be a truck driver, or maybe the ice cream man!"
-ethan grove

"I'm a girly girl princess rockstar, but maybe my other job could be a doctor or something"
-ellie lee

"ummm I just remembered something. I remembered that I didn't remember underwear today. is that bad?"
-emma white

"this my baby, derek. he's poopy. he can't come to church."
-eden grove

"You shouldn't eat gingerbread houses because they make you fat. I don't want you to get too big!"
-ethan

''God is so big, He knows everything. Like how many hairs i have on my head, & even how many boogers i've ever had in my life!'' -ellie lee

oh how I love them!
there's so many more, but these stuck in my head today :)

{i could run}

timmy and I dinking around on the piano. this was the result.
(and I can't play piano that great, I know :))


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Lord, in my life,
I wanna go higher
I wanna go further.
I wanna go deeper.

I want to fall more in love with You every day.
Help me to live life to the fullest, just like You've called me to do.
and let me be a shining light everywhere I go.
I pray that people will see You in me,
that I would be overflowing with Your presence.

help me to be engaged in the Word,
completely lost in worship,
and remember to talk to You like You're right there with me.
because You are.


Amen :)

{pic of the week}

I would absolutely love to post photography weekly,
so i'll try to remember! :)
have a lovely monday

{stop motion}

lately i'm fascinated with stop motion videos
especially ones done with photography (claymation isn't really my thing...)
so here's one I found, its pretty rad! :)

{a testimony}

I shared this a couple of weeks ago, and I found my notes today.
So I thought I'd share it with you :)
in advance, its LoNG.
so if you don't read it all, I'm ok with that

:Overcome.:

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
I've had the privilege of growing up in a Christian home my whole life.
I have wonderful God-fearing parents that pray for me and with me constantly :)
& I've had a somewhat sheltered life.

Private schools and online schools were my source of education growing up.
So when I got to my freshman year, I was really excited to go to a public school.
I didn't really know anyone, all my friends were at my church.
So my school friends were pretty much the first people I met.
But those people weren't the best influence on me.
They weren't the partiers or the drinkers, but they were the kids that were all too concerned with what people thought of them.
And even if you don't realize it, the people who you hang out with will have one of the greatest impacts on who you become.
So I started to care.
I really wanted everyone to like me.
I desired a big group of "popular" friends;
to be able to be identified with that crowd.

Another thing I really wanted was perfect grades.
I figured I wouldn't be able to have a good life unless there was nothing but a big A on every assignment I had.
It stressed me out a little bit.
I spent a lot of time on homework
and pretty soon my stress got heavier and harder to deal with.

Around the middle of my freshman year, My family started to go through a tough financial situation.
Things weren't great, money was tight. And I got scared.
I was afraid we would lose our house.
I was worried that my dad would be out of a job for too long.
I didn't know how things would turn around
Money was a security to me.

Part of me felt like there was something I had done wrong.
Wasn't there some way I could have prevented things from happening?
I started getting really worried, to the point of anxiety and panic attacks.
fear is a tough one.
When it grips you, its hard to let it loose.
I was afraid, insecure, and stressed.

I hadn't given up on God, but I seemed to have forgotten that He can make all things work together for good. (Ro 8::28)

I didn't feel like I could control my situation.
One thing I could control was what I ate.
So I didn't eat much.
Part of it was I was too nervous to eat,
and another part was a control thing.

Over the summer things didn't really change, and I entered my sophomore year the same as I had left.
But what I didn't know was God was waiting to have a little chat with me :)
And that time came quickly.

It wasn't away at a conference,
and It wasn't at church camp.
It was an ordinary Sunday morning during worship, and I heard the voice of God
clearer than I had in a while.
and He said
"Lyndsay why are you afraid?"

and I was thinking "well God, I'm afraid of this and this...
I listed my fears.
people not liking me
getting bad grades and not going to a good college
losing control of my life
losing my house...
it went on.

and He said
"But why? Why are you afraid? Don't you know that everything is taken care of?"

and to be honest, I don' think I had realized that.

I had forgotten that my Savior was not going anywhere, and that my fears were not near as big as Him.
So I started to give them to Him.
"God I give you my fears,
God I give you my insecurities,
God I give you my circumstance."
and an amazing scripture that He put on my heart that morning was

Matthew 11::28-30

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

I began to truly believe that.

A huge burden was gone.
Things were so much better.
God blessed me with amazing school friends that were believers
and my schoolwork seemed so much easier
Even though my family's situation hadn't changed much, I was able to step out in faith
and believe that God had something awesome in store for us.
It was a true act of overcoming.
Because I gave Him my problems and put my trust in Him.
Because He's bigger
He's stronger
and He see's my past, walks with me in the present, and see ahead to things to come.
And now I know that I'm not called to be a worrier,
I'm called to be a warrior :)

And even though I still feel stressed at times, and sometimes my mind wanders into a bit of worry.
The difference is I know exactly how to overcome.
I give it to Him.
He's on my side.
and I know that I am victorious because of Him.

the end :)